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| Well, it's been a year, and I am sure all of your readers are anxious to hear about what I am doing. Well, I am about to graduate in a week and that feeling is better than punching a clown in the open face. If you don't know how that feels, then you are totally missing out.
In lieu of this momentous achievement, I am going to give you some fun facts about graduates.
1) Most graduates shake off their apathy and senioritis with something that is clinically known as depression. You might be asking why, but it's pretty simple. You are pretty much top dog with all of your classmates and then you realize that you still don't have any money and work a pretty crappy job. Congratulations!
2) Alcohol sales actually increase by about 20% because many graduates find that they have wasted all four-plus years and have absolutely no resume. AA meetings will triple by the end of the year due to the alumns drinking themselves under until they find a job and/or mate so they have to clean themselves up.
3) Every high position of employment that is advertised will be taken by the geeks and/or the social rejects. Revenge of the Nerds is actually an anthropological documentary. Should have bought a keytar instead of all those Kanye tickets.
4) Any injury that you have sustained at any point after high school will be aggravated within 2 years which will require at least a doctor's visit. After that, surgery will be required within the next 4. Coach Callahan was right about stretching.
5) 75% will buy books, but never finish a single one. 2% will write an dissertation that nobody will ever read.
6) 80% will have a single thought about graduate school. 40% of those will apply. 80% of those will dread it. The other 20% will be too drunk to remember.
So, to all of my fellow classmates of 2009, it's been great. I hope all of you get jobs worthy enough of your intellect and time.
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| I recently got a houseplant from a friend as a Christmas present, but I didn't receive until Easter. I'm not sure what kind of plant it is, but it is supposed to be resistant to death and all I have to do is give it light and water. Pretty sweet deal. It would liven up my trailer, except it have it on my kitchen table, which is cluttered with various items. It beats having a pet and makes the air cleaner, so I'm going to add more to my collection. I'm naming it Melvin.
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| Spring Break is almost over. I didn't do anything relaxing. I'm kind of sad. Lots of driving and working, and hopefully some reading this weekend. Too poor to be going out. : (
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| Went to the Winter Jam Tour 2008 concert last night with three youth group members. It was pretty cool, though ridiculously loud at points. Towards the end of the concert, I realized I was getting old because I wanted to hear some old school praise songs, instead of the insanely loud songs that had been going on the entire night.
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| The inequalities between the wealthy and hardworking people cannot go ignored anymore.
Go to www.warongreed.org and sign the petition. | | |
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